Etiquette and Ethics

IMG_8412Surrender is a gathering focused on showing love, respect, and appreciation for ourselves, one another, and the Earth. The weekend will be a time for grieving, celebrating, and building intimacy.

It’s important for the success of the event that we create a balance between self expression, personal boundaries, and everyone’s need for safety. This requires that we adopt constellational thinking so that we think beyond our individual selves to include all those attending the event as well as the land itself in our decision making processes.

Some people get very excited about the sex in EcoSex and we want to be very clear about what kind of sexual expression we are supporting in large-group settings.

We ask for your help in creating balance by following this Ecosexual Etiquette and Ethics:

Self Expression and Exploration

  • Adopt an attitude that is Curious, Open, Accepting, and Loving*Be Curious about your IMG_8638own responses, desires, experiences and those of others; Be Open to trying new things; Be Accepting of your own judgements, limitations, previously negotiated agreements and those of others; Be Loving toward your own body and other people’s bodies. *the acronym COAL is from Mindsight and other works by Dan Siegel
  • Surrender aims to facilitate the merging of the natural ordinary self with the consciousness of Nature’s Divine and Elemental Realms. We will experiment with ecstatic states created by dance, trance, ritual, signing, breathing, and meditation and we will work with embodiment, presence, and the merging of consciousness.
  • A 20-acre section of the forest is dedicated as “Lilith’s Forest” and will be open to full expression and exploration of one’s (negotiated and consensual) erotic and wild nature.


  • Respect yourself, one another, and the Earth. Tend to the 5 Zones of EcoSexual Love.
  • Respect your own sexual sovereignty. No one owns your body but you. No one else can decide what is right for you sexually. You are responsible for verbally expressing your boundaries and desires.
  • We consider the entire body sacred and holy and we also respect and honor the boundaries many of us have as survivors of sexual abuse and trauma. We welcome partial nudity throughout the main camp. Please keep genitalia covered throughout the main camp at all times.
  • Full nudity is welcome in “Lilith’s Forest.”fragrant_clitocybe?_clitocybe-suaveolens___c-fragrans
  • Use explicit verbal communication to obtain consent for any intimate touch, unless you have previous established agreements with the other party. A clear request must be met by a verbal response of “yes” before physical touch occurs. No means no. Yes means yes.
  • Respect your healing process and that of others. When love abounds, so does the opportunity for healing. Help each other to become whole.
  • Follow the principles outlined in the Land Ethic.
  • Maintain clean hygiene, particularly when entering into intimate contexts with others.
  • Honor the Safer-Braver Space Policy


  • Surrender does not condone the use of alcohol or controlled substances during the event. Medical marijuana is permitted only in private or designated smoking spaces. In honoring our sovereignty and interdependence, we acknowledge that consent requires both competency and presence, which can be made more difficult by altered states. Responsible and respectful behavior is central to ecosexual ethics, self care and community. The Guardian Team will evaluate how best to respond to any violations of this policy.


  • Please express negotiated and consensual touch intended to arouse in private spaces such as personal tents and sleeping areas or in designated spaces such as Lilith’s Forest and the Earth Temple.
  • Keep masturbation in private spaces or in Lilith’s Forest. Do not expose your genitals or rub up against anyone without getting explicit verbal consent. Substantiated occurrence of behavior contrary to this will result in the person being escorted from the event without refund.
  • Communicate in a timely manner what you know about your sexual health status to potential and actual intimate partners; ask in a timely manner for the sexual health information of potential and actual intimate partners. We ask that you disclose all known sexually transmitted infections before exposing others to them.
  • Photographs and video are only to be taken by those who are officially designated as staff photographers. Photography waivers will be available at on-site registration.
  • More detailed guidelines for the accepted etiquette within different parts of the campground will be shared at registration.